it's all been too much...

...the late nights, the unreasonable demands, the incessant changes to projects previously deemed OK, the constant verbal (and threats of physical) abuse. They've taken their toll on my darling computer and it is no more, ceased to be, expired and gone to meet its maker. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, rests in peace. Its metabolic processes are now history. It's off the twig, it's kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. It is in short, an ex-computer.

I am sitting here on The Boy's computer, bottom lip a-quivering, while he tries to revive mine. It's very kind of him to let me use it but it feels all wrong, like borrowing someone else's false teeth, it just doesn't fit.

There is no good time for that extension of your being to pack in, but the week before your wedding? Fucking great. There are countless things to be printed, countless images to use while arranging hair, flowers and decorations all stashed away on it. Emails to be answered, wedding elves to correspond with, sanity-restoring blog buddies to be connected to....

Dear computer, I know I've been pushing you a little hard, trust me I feel it too and if I could give up I would be sorely tempted, but I need you, I love you, please come back to me.... please.....