Tuesday, December 07, 2010

four weeks



Hello. Babies are hard work, did you know? I thought I knew but I didn't. People told me and I listened, honestly I did, it's just.... well....
It's getting easier though.


The babies sleep sometimes, mostly during the day. Sometimes they sleep at night too. Nye looks after them from 12am until 6am so that I can sleep, which is nice.

They eat a lot. Combined they spend ten hours a day eating. Ten hours!

We go out nearly every day (I would go insane otherwise.) Some days we go to our nearby park with the baby carriers, some days with the pushchair. Other days we go to our far away park and we take them to see the horses. We've also been to the cinema and the shops and the museum and a cafe. We've played in the snow a lot. There have been snowballs and icy toes and snowflakes on the tiniest of noses.

It's been fun.




I ran down a hill last week. My stomach felt like a Shar Pei in a wind tunnel.


My mum has visited, so has my Gran and Nye's parents. We've left the babies with a babysitter and gone out twice now. The first time we forgot to take a phone with us. Or tell my inlaws where we were going. We felt a little like bad parents. But not much.

The second time we went to see Harry Potter at the cinema. I missed my 9pm nap. Come midnight I'm not very nice if I've missed my 9pm nap.




It's been two weeks since I envied people who have no desire to procreate. It's also been two weeks since I wondered a) what babies are for, b) why people want them, c) if we made the biggest mistake of our lives getting pregnant or d) where my passport is.

I have a new-found understanding for women who abandon their children. I don't plan to abandon my children, but I am no longer appalled by those who do. Babies are hard.

The first two weeks are especially hard. And you can't ask your husband where your passport is because then he'll know and he'll lock the door. Or tell the health visitor on you.




But then it passes and one day you realise that you're enjoying yourself and that maybe you don't want to leave any more and the babies look right at you and it's almost as if they can see you. And it's wonderful.


50 comments:

  1. You're amazing you know that? I always love how truthful you are... and so glad you're enjoying yourself now and managed to get to the cinema too x

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  2. a kiss back at you, amelia.

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  3. even if that's your poop face.

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  4. Stripes and toggles and HOODS.

    Also does that mean you can tell us what babies are for?

    Also you are the most amazing one.

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  5. it's always lovely to read your blog, and it's great to hear a lady be so honest - too many lie about how they are coping, babies are really hard, constant, 24 hour, attention seeking, draining, gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, wonderful things. Mine are now 10 and 11 (years) and still quite hard work at times! :)

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  6. Honesty. I loves it.

    Tiny faces are adorable. Perhaps that is why people have babies? Probably not adequate justification when you haven't slept for several days.

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  7. most honest mom stories. thank you. and i choked at "shar pei in a wind tunnel." glad it's getting easier!

    xoxoxo

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  8. Peonies, I love your honesty. Sounds amazing, hard work, but amazing. And wonderful pictures, as ever.

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  9. You are delightful. And the babies are beautiful.

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  10. 10 hours?! Greedy little birds.
    Really glad that you and Nye managed to get some time to yourself and that you are starting to enjoy yourself.

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  11. One of my friends had a baby in October and she concurs-- babies are hard. And she only has one! I'm glad you are managing to find them lovable, though, and managing to find time for you and Nye. Both very important things.

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  12. Oh Gosh. They're just too wonderful. It's oh-so evident where they have got their wonderfulness from Cara, you're incredible.

    x

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  13. So happy you're happy. You're all adorable.

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  14. My heart is too too full.

    xoxoxoxo

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  15. Yes, people tell you how hard it is - the sleep deprivation, how everything's going to change, etc. But you never truly understand until you go through it yourself.

    But then you look around and realize that so many women have gone through this, and survived. And you will too, day by day.

    You are doing a wonderful job! The twins are gorgeous!

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  16. Aren't they growing right into those names of theirs! Such beautiful creatures. With so much personality. Kisses for all of you. And respect for your wisdom.

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  17. A fine friend who is a mother met me for coffee when my daughter was 4 weeks old. She was greeted by a panic-stricken, tearful face (mine). She said: First 12 weeks - are shit. Head down, in a bunker. Just get through it. Next 3 months - gets easier. 6 months on - laughing. I could have kissed her for being so honest. She was right. My baby's a maddening, funny and splendid 4 year old and I am rather glad I kept her.

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  18. They are beautiful! You are hilarious and amazing, and I am wishing you a good night's sleep.

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  19. p.s. Beautiful, beautiful babies and photos. Those feet!

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  20. <3

    Too, too precious. I'm so happy to read this. Even though it's been hard. Harry Potter + no more passport searching has to be a good thing. :)

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  21. yes, please tell us what babies are for.

    also, I like the face that NYE is making :P

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  22. The post and photos are wonderful. Your honesty is absolutely invaluable and I think I should bookmark this post in case a long way in the future I ever have babies. So I can remind myself that you can get out and do things and that it does get better and better. Enjoy it as much as you can!

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  23. Beautiful babies and honest words. I hope you two do get some sleep!

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  24. that feet picture is crazy amazing! Your daughters are beautiful!

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  25. What you've said is so important. I don't even have babies and I felt better when my mom said she understood perfectly why there are hotlines for mothers with infants. Thank goodness your babies are very cute otherwise you might want to flush them down the terlet.
    xoxox

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  26. I love your photos and how honest you are. I had no idea of all the crazy baby things and hard times until my sister let me in on the secrets. I have nothing but the utmost respect for parents, especially mothers <3

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  27. your babies are lovely and it sounds like you are becoming a lovely mum. thanks you for always being so truthful.

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  28. love those little fingers, noses and toes. so precious

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  29. The first month is hard. Adorable, snuggly, but HARD. The second month is almost a little harder -- you're starting to feel your footing, but the sleep deprivation starts to wear on you....

    But things get a little easier at 3 months. And a little easier at 6 months. And a lot easier at 8 months or so. At 9 months, my husband said he couldn't possibly imagine our baby any happier. And then she turned 12 months, happier still. And 18 months, happier still. Every month has been a steady progression of more fun and joy all around. So good luck and hang in there! It really does just keep getting better and better!

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  30. Their feet look so impossibly small. Thank you for your honesty. It is nice to see a mother that is able to say that it isn't all sunshine and puppy dogs. Your babies are beautiful, as is your writing.

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  31. It's nice to hear someone being honest. I'm glad that you're already feeling that way after 4 weeks, to be honest I'm still struggling with those feelings at 9 months. You've been out more than I managed for about 5 months. And you have two! You're doing amazing. And they are just beautiful.

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  32. I have a 5 month old and in all my mama groups have really tried to hit home that after 6 weeks, things do get better, but before that they just suck. They get even better after 3 months. I have an amazingly easy baby and the best husband/baby daddy ever - and it's so f-ing hard.

    Also, while people tell you that babies are hard, they don't tell you the havoc they can put on your relationship - totally normal (not that you're having any, but so many mamas and papas do).

    You are a good mom and you will get through it (and one day soon, you'll have double the baby giggles the rest of us get).

    ps: no running before 6 weeks - take care of yourself!

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  33. These are beautiful photos!!!

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  34. @esb babies are for entertainment. that's why i'm having one. duh.
    but... i don't think the fun part starts until about 8-9 months.

    P, if i lived closer i would babysit. and, i would teach the girls spanish. :)

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  35. i just love everything about this post so much. the little stories, the babies, the PICTURES, you, the things IN the pictures, the words, all of it. SO MUCH.

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  36. Can you give us a tutorial on telling the babies apart, pretty please? I can't at all. Maybe you can tell us how they are different little ladies?

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  37. I totally understand. Two more weeks and they wake up more and you will have more practice.

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  38. "My stomach felt like a Shar Pei in a wind tunnel." I understand, completely. Babies are SO hard - and we have a positively angelic one. Twins run in our family, and I used to want twins. Until I realized how much work a "good" single baby was. I'm so in awe of you, miss.

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  39. Babies are wonderful, and even more wonderful in retrospect. Mark my words.

    And: "a shar-pei in a wind tunnel"? I'll go to bed now, smiling happily and widely; thank you. :-)

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  40. I'm so glad you are all making it.

    Anyone who says it's easy is lying.

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  41. scary.

    i hope all of these people who say "it's worth it" aren't making things up.

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  42. I have been extremely self involved the past few months, and I missed the BIG NEWS! Congratulations, and keep up the good work! Beautiful babies!

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  43. Thank you for your honest wisdom and beautiful images in words and in prints. Wishing you continued certainty in your decision (and selfishly, I hope you continue to be thoroughly real & truthful).

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  44. Oh what a nice thing of birds! Sorry I don't know not english, neither russian term for this! Cuty-cute!

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  45. Oh my... perhaps you may consider trading one of these beauties for a brand new lens? Lenses don't cry and I'll let you take your pick...

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  46. I must say that your babies are truly so cute. When my daughter was a new born she looked pretty strange and alien like for the first month or so (thankfully she grew into herself quite quickly afterwards) but your two have been gorgeous from the word go. Good work. Oh and it does get easier (though I can't speak for twins but I'm sure it's the same!) So glad you are enjoying them nevertheless. Soak up every second, because it honestly does go by so quickly x

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  47. Oh, good GOD I love you all, all four of you!!!

    And yes, the lack of sleep sucks. And I say this with trepidation, bc I don't want you rushing to get your passport, but: they still don't like sleep much when they're two, of three or six. They don't want to miss anything, you see? But we love them anyway, because... well. Your pictures and words said it all, my dear.

    much love,
    -maria

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  48. I love this post so much. And you, too.

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  49. reading this entry was like a breath of fresh air for me (new mother of a 8 month old baby). it's the toughest...but ironically the most fulfilling and happiest i've ever been in my life.

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play nice.