skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I don't think I know of any parent who wouldn't benefit, even just a little, from reading this book (this book in America).
It's fascinating from an anthropology point of view (I think that it might even be interesting to the No Babeeez crowd, but I could be wrong) but also hugely inspiring as a parent.
I've read a lot of reviews, quite a number from people who haven't actually read the book, and they seem to fall into three camps: 'well, this seems very sensible' from people who don't have children and from people who do have children: 'yes, this is how we do it' from people who do have children (colour me sceptical) or (and this is mostly from Americans) 'how dare the French tell us how to raise our kids?'.
Personally I don't understand the vitriol, but then I'm quite willing to contemplate the idea that I don't have a clue what I'm doing when it comes to parenting and admit that I don't have a plan, I'm just making it up as I go along. I can understand that people who do have a plan might not like being told that they're wrong.
But that's the thing, the book doesn't tell you to do anything, it's just one woman's experience of being an American raising her kids in Paris and trying to figure out why her kids and the other English-speaking kids she knows don't behave like French ones. She's not a Francophile, in fact she seems distinctly unsettled by the notion of her daughter 'growing up French', which is why the blanket reaction of 'I'm not reading that book. The French smoke too much and they spank their kids, why should I listen to anything they have to say about parenting?' is a little puzzling, the French aren't telling you to do anything, they're too busy being French to give a damn what anyone else is doing. (FYI, I've never seen a French kid being smacked and I've never seen a French parent smoking while looking after their kids. I predict we'll be spending a lot of time in French playgrounds in the future and I'm pretty excited about observing and taking notes. No, really.)
I'm not going to tell you what I learned from it or in what ways it changed how Nye and I parent* I'm just going to ask that you think about reading it. I don't think it's too dramatic to say that I found it a game-changer.
I would be really interested to hear what you thought of the book if you've read it, what you think about it if you haven't read it and why you think people are so resistant to it.
*Not in this post anyway. Depending on how the comments go I might write a follow up post in the future. and to talk about what I thought in more detail in the comments though.
Oh, so intrigued to read this post. I didn't realise the UK version had come out now (been trying to locate it since I first heard about it), so just ordered a copy.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for it to arrive - even more so now I've heard you got something out of it.
Our daughter Josephine is only 3 months, but we're using the same 'make it up as we go along, using our instincts' technique so it'd be nice to read something with a couple of useful pointers! xxx
I totally agree with your opinion. To me the book was hilarious, informative, and anthropological, but not instructive or pedagogical. I think so much of what the author observes amongst French parents and French children makes a lot of sense in terms of creating positive boundaries and expectations for both children and families. I found myself chuckling a lot, and thinking, "Huh, we're raising a little Frenchie over here!" because many of these *French* techniques and ideals already made sense to me and my husband. Definitely like the idea of teaching children to acknowledge everyone with a "hello" and "goodbye". I think that gets overlooked a lot in America and want to encourage my daughter to be courteous in that way from a very early age! The book also inspired me to be more adventurous with her meals. And I do find myself thinking, "Is 14 months to early to start hot chocolate???" Would love to hear more of your thoughts and reflections in another post.
ReplyDeleteIt's so lovely to hear from you Meredith. I totally agree that it mostly just seems like common sense. And that it was hilarious. And that it made me relax about being adventurous with food. We're pretty relaxed about chocolate, we rarely eat it but when we do we let the girls taste it which seems to horrify some people.
DeleteI'm about 2/3 of the way through and I'm finding it really interesting. It's definitely worth a read to get the grey matter going.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things that strikes me the most is how different it must be to raise children in a society that largely (or so the book suggests) follows the same model of parenting.
While it may not be the best system it must be pleasant to be away from the catty competitiveness that seems to be very prevalent between many of the parenting theory camps in the UK.
I think parenting "methods" (or "choices") can feel like such a personal thing and it can feel like you're under attack from various factions because you're doing it wrong and raising horrible children who are going to end up miserable/delinquent/both. So I suppose I can see that people who think the book is "How to raise your children to be like these nice French children instead of those nasty anglophone brats" might take offense.
I don't get the impression that the book wants to do that at all. I think she's just saying 'this is my experience doesn't it give us something to think about'.
I loved the notion of raising kids somewhere where (by and large, there are talk of some theories in French society in the book) no one subscribes to parenting theories or fashions but rather there is a cultural acceptance that we raise our children to function in society.
Deletei have heard so much about this book-that I thought I would get it for my pregnant friend...but wasn't sure if that would be insulting.But is sounds interesting...I don't have children, but I would still like to read it
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would be insulted, but then I saw it as an interesting memoir, not a child-rearing guide. If you presented it as a memoir as opposed to an instruction manual I doubt she would be offended.
DeleteI'm a long-time lurker, but I have to come out of hiding because of the perfect timing of your post. My husband and I are expecting our first baby this year and I just finished reading Bringing Up Bebe last week. I fell into the "this seems sensible" camp, particularly since I don't see what is so French about teaching one's children to be polite and behave reasonably in public. That being said, I don't have kids yet, so it's pretty easy for me to say that my children will be perfectly behaved all the time, say "bonjour" to every adult we encounter and remain "sage" on command.
ReplyDeleteI attribute the venom this book has attracted to the fact that, as my mom says, parents these days overthink parenting. According to Mom, if you don't confine your kids to a "plastic bucket" (car seat that converts to stroller that converts to carrier so you don't have to touch your kid all day long), let your kid be a kid for the most part, see the humor in parenting, and don't let the kids ruin your life or the lives of your friends and family you'll be in good shape. Not particularly French: just common sense.
thank you for coming out of hiding. And congrats on your pregnancy. I definitely agree that the method of child-rearing described isn't particularly 'French', so much as common sense.
DeleteComing out of hiding here too, mainly because I totally agree with what you're saying. I haven't read the book, and I don't have kids but they're definitely on the cards for the next few years (eek, first time I've seen that in writing...). I do want to read this book, due to all the hype and the fact that French children are very adorable. All the stuff I've heard about it has interested me from a memoir point of view and, like you, the parenting bits have sort of left me saying 'uh huh, yeah, that's totally sensible, why the fuss?'.
DeleteI agree with Elizabeth in that there seems to be a tendency to 'overthink' parenting these days. I mean, obviously, I know I'm going to be a fucking nutbag as a new parent but hopefully more in a bigger-picture, 'holy crap I'm in charge of a LIFE' way rather than 'you want to give my toddler CHOCOLATE? Are you INSANE?' way. The whole 'extreme parenting' hasn't really hit Ireland yet, not sure why and can't really speculate without making massive generalisations, but it might be to do with the fact that in some ways we are a leetle behind the rest of the world and having kids is still, sort of, something you just get on with.
Gimme a call in a few years though, when I'll hopefully be actually qualified to comment.
p.s. Your twins are adorable. As Les Francais would say.
It's in the stack of books on my bedside table, waiting for its turn. (Gotta finish Half a Wife and one other before I get to it.)
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest: my gut reaction when I first heard about it was, "Oh great. Another person on the the-French-are-better-than-everyone bandwagon trying to cram it down our throats." (Maybe because of the blogger obsession - you know what I mean.) However. Smart people I know read it (you, Cate, M) and explained what it was actually about, so I got interested. I'll let you know my thoughts once I've read it.
(PS - Re: the American reaction, this *is* the country where people tried to change "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries." So.)
"Oh great. Another person on the the-French-are-better-than-everyone bandwagon trying to cram it down our throats."
DeleteThis was my 1st reaction - made me think of "French Women Don't Get Fat."
I'm still curious to read it, though I'm not anticipating a strong personal reaction, as I'm not a parent and don't plan to become one. I do sort of hate generalizations about whole countries/cultures, even if there is a grain of truth in mixed in. I have a feeling France/French parenting is more nuanced and diverse than this book makes it out to be...?
Well the interesting thing about this book is it's certainly the way I was raised. And my husband was raised. (Though we were raised with spanking and a tiny bit of smoking, and are none the worse for wear for it if I'm being honest). And we're from California. So, I'm not sure it's JUST FRENCH. It may just be sensible. And as for nuance, I don't know. It's LITERALLY EXACTLY how I was brought up, and it worked very well, so I don't find it hard to believe that a culture would mostly do it this way.
DeleteIt's definitely not something that is specific to French culture, I think there are a lot of places (including where Meg was raised) where this is the way that people parent. However France is where the author was and it's somewhere that this style of parenting is in the majority. I live in a liberal, middle class area and I see very little of this sort of parenting so I can understand that it seemed 'French' as opposed to 'just sensible' to someone who was suddenly immersed in it when she moved to France.
DeleteI've spent some time, not a lot but some, in France over the last year and to be honest haven't witnessed a lot of parenting there yet. I'm looking forward to paying more attention in the future to see how universal that it is. However, I have to say that like Meg I don't find it hard to believe that a culture would mostly do it this way.
Also, for the record, living in a liberal, (upper?) middle class area 30 years later, I see almost NONE of this style of parenting.
DeleteI just have to say that while living my entire life in various liberal upper middle class communities, I can agree that is so so rare to see this style of parenting, and that is so FASCINATING. Though I feel like there are plenty of these people that would be agreeing along with the book, but then just can't put what seems like common sense into practice.
DeleteMy husband and I are expecting our first this year and we both thought this book was really interesting. A lot of the "French" things resemble aspects of parenting that we respect in those around us. Having said that, there were a lot of things that I am still mulling over 2 weeks after reading the book. Like the sleep tips for a newborn? I had never heard of that before!
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, it was so refreshing to me as a young parent-to-be to hear something other than "this baby is going to ruin your social life/personal life/sleep life/marriage life". I feel like whenever our future child is discussed with others, people pity us and tell us that's it for us eating out, traveling, etc.
I really enjoyed it!
Yes! The notion that parenting and having children can be enjoyable and not the end of your life as you know it is something that people need to hear more of. I can't believe how negative the cultural noise about having children *is* and I love that the French don't subscribe to it at all. I admit that I found it hard in places to get my head around the seeming selfishness of the French parental model (sending kids away on holiday from such a young age, not taking them to extra-curricular activities etc) but in general I love the idea that it's important for parents to retain *their* lives when they have kids too.
DeleteThat was the aspect of the book that seemed the most "shocking" I think because it goes against the fairly abundant expectation that once you have a child then 'Parent' should come top of your list of personal labels ahead of everything else you had before.
DeleteIt does make sense that of course happy and relaxed parents are going to be better parents and having time off for yourself is important and doesn't detract from how important you think your kids.
This is the main thing that draws me to this book. I think it is a very big difference in our cultures, that here it is seen as selfish when parents take time away from their children. But to me it is so important to take that time, for myself, my marriage and my baby. Definitely agree Ms Fran.
DeleteI enjoyed this book, too, and I think I learned a lot from it. I think some of the annoyance in the States has been how the book was excerpted in the Wall Street Journal under the title, "Why French Parents Are Superior" (much like that Tiger Mother book was also excerpted there as "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior," or something like that). I wish we could learn from different parenting styles and cultures without saying one is superior to all the rest in every instance. I'm sure not every French parent parents this way.There are at least a few ways that US parents are superior to French, in my opinion, not least in breastfeeding rates (though they have us beat with food in most other ways, that's for sure). I'm also a little suspicious of the concept of a two month old sleeping through the night. Anyway, I thought it was a good book, and as a new parent, I'm looking for all the good advice I can find.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the sensational way it was introduced could be influencing the reactions of some people.
Deletewhat janet said. the way the book was marketed to americans was pretty ridiculous, so i have an idea THAT'S why most people, including myself, had such an adverse reaction to it. perhaps french children are better behaved, but statistics show that american children grow up with more self-confidence. show me a book that exhibits children that posses both qualities, and i'll be impressed. i can go on, but i'll spare you.
Deletealso, i find the idea of "parenting" books to be absolutely absurd. i'm probably going to be attacked for saying this, but people need to just calm the fuck down and BE a parent. your baby will eventually sleep through the night and turn into a polite individual if you simply use your head. it's not rocket science.
I had no idea it was marketed so ridiculously in the US. Here it was marketed as a memoir and particularly as a memoir of an American in France, and a cultural observation, not as a parenting guide or as a love letter to the French and how wonderful they are.
Delete@Janet the French breastfeeding attitude does suck. However personally I think the british/american attitude to breatfeeding sucks too and that there has to be a middle ground where breastfeeding is encouraged and not-breastfeeding isn't vilified.
@celia, like I said, it wasn't marketed as a parenting book and I didn't read it as a parenting book, rather as a memoir and cultural observation. I've never read a "parenting" book and I agree that the notion of them is insane. I also agree that if you use your head you and your baby will get there in terms of sleeping/not being a shit, but spending even a small amount of time around other parents/kids (in my culture, at least) has left me pretty certain that most parents lost touch with their heads sometime around conception and that the insanity isn't on a personal level, it's ingrained in how our whole culture views children.
I don't know that it was marketed as crazy... I think the media reaction to it was crazy on both sides here: FRENCH ARE BETTER, NO ONE IS BETTER, and on and on. But it was enough to make me want to ignore all the chatter and go pick up the book, so I don't know. The Wall Street Journal might have titled their article absurdly, but it was just a selection from the book (though the WSJ comments were totally bananas).
DeleteBut yes, I like books that are about just reminding you of common sense. When I read the book I was like, "Oh RIGHT. I grew up this way. This makes sense. Now I can ignore the other cultural nonsense that sounded all wrong to me."
You know, the French can kind of come across the Samatha Bricks of the world: "Ah you only hate us because we're so much better than you." That they may, possibly, be right just makes it more annoying.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I'm far more interested to hear about how Scandi and Dutch parents do it. Forest schools and getting outside more and suchlike.
Totes. But the book isn't by a French person, and what I found fascinating is that the author had to drag the information about how they parent out of French parents because they had no desire to tell anyone else how to raise their kids. A huge part of why I liked the book was that it wasn't written by a French person, it was written by someone observing French culture. In fact there's no way in hell I'd have read it if it was written by someone French.
DeleteI would LOVE to read the Scandi/Dutch equivilant of the book. If it wasn't for the shit weather I would consider writing it myself.
I LOVED this book and felt v smug that I parent my toddler in some of the ways mentioned; I really value her learning independence and patience, for example. I liked how it wasn't a prescriptive parenting book but more of a study and commentary on the way French households work. I will be revisiting the book when my second baby is born- I want a baby who sleeps through the night at 3 months!!
ReplyDelete:) I wish I'd read it before the girls were born. The sleeping bit was one of the only parts I was slightly sceptical about. I mean, I really *want* to believe it but I kind of need to see it in practise to believe that babies will sleep through the night that young.
DeleteI know I'm late to this party, but I will say that my baby starting sleeping in 5 hours stretches at 3 weeks and now at 3 months sleeps for 6-9 hours at a stretch, then eats and sleeps for 3 more. And I happened to do basically exactly what the book happened to suggest, although I didn't read it until this week. YMMV, but it sure worked well for us.
DeleteGod I loved this book. Also, since I was raised this way, and I *personally* think I turned out pretty ok, I'm on the book's team. I think it's a fascinating cultural read, kids or no kids, by the way.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the book as well and nodded along to most of it.
ReplyDeleteA little more: I think that the reason I liked the book so much was that it supported many of the things that we do/want to do with Zoe.
ReplyDeleteMany of the choices seem based on goals for the future: want kiddo to sleep through the night then work towards that goal, want the kiddo to be an adventurous eater then give them a variety of interesting things that taste good, want to have an adult life too well then you better work towards that as well, want your kiddo to be well-behaved then give them freedom and boundaries and make them clear, want them to be patient then make them wait when necessary. I guess that I mean to say that everything does not have to be RIGHT NOW. For example: kiddo cries and parent runs to kiddo to fix it, kiddo is hungry and seventeen varieties of snack come forth from the diaper bag, kiddo is throwing a tantrum and is offered ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to fix it and on and on.
The main thing that this book highlights is that you do not have to be a "helicopter parent" in order to have your kid thrive and perhaps that that kind of parenting may do a disservice.
OK- done. Far more than I said on my own blog about the book a few days ago which was basically, "liked the book, hate talking about books."
Thank you so much for sharing your opinions, I really appreciate it. I also kind of hate talking about books and was really reluctant to post this at all.
DeleteI agree that it's about working towards the things that you want. I don't believe that French children are born patient or not throwing food but that their parents work towards it and that's been a major influence on me. I've been very focused on just getting through the days with the girls rather than working towards anything at all and found the book really inspiring in that regard. I'm finding myself much more willing to put up with some shouting and tantrums in the present in order to teach the girls that they need to wait or to play independently.
Ugh, telling people how to parent. Another way in which French people top the rudest in the world
ReplyDeleteIt was actually written by an American living in France and was definitely not a French person telling people how to parent. Exactly like P said it was an observation of what Pamela Drucker experienced living in France and raising kids. It also has lots of really interesting pieces of research to supplement her experiences. I would definitely recommend reading it.
DeleteI take it you haven't read it then. Otherwise you would know that a) the author is American and b) the French parents she spoke to were highly reluctant to give her any advice at all, feeling that it was absolutely none of their business to do so. Aside from a couple of comments she got from random nutbags (which I get *all* the time in the UK) the French came across as much much more reserved in offering parenting advice than any other culture I've experienced.
DeleteI'm not a parent, but perhaps I'll read this book.
ReplyDeletePart of why I didn't feel like reading it was not the "French people think they're superior" issue, but that it's part of this sometimes tiresome genre of Americans who've lived in France/married a Frenchman writing about how great the French are. Like all generalizations, their observations sometimes hit the mark and sometimes really miss it.
I'm currently dealing with some culture shock, having made a big move recently, and I am, for the moment, tired of hearing about how people generalize cultures, when the day to day is often such a different story.
All that said, I think a lot of the American anger at this book is annoying and overblown, and as usual, reads as defensively insular.
I can completely understand your irritation with hearing people generalise about cultures, it can be infuriating.
DeleteThanks Cara, you're kind.
DeleteOn the flip side, since we hope to have kids soon-ish, my husband and I have been paying a lot of attention to families when we travel. We've spent a lot of time in France and Italy this year, and generally speaking, have noticed some trends in how people relate to their kids. What is of particular interest to us, is how parents relate to each other! In France and Germany, parent PDA seems a lot more common than in some other places. In Italy, people seem to parent very hands-on, and they are perfectly wonderful to their kids - they really engage, etc. It is all very interesting.
As multi-culture kids ourselves, and having moved around a lot, we're curious to see how we'll end up leading our lives as parents.
I would love to hear in more detail how this book influenced you.
I loved this book! It was so interesting and I don't have kids. I'm planning on reading it again when I'm closer to having children and taking notes on the bits which really got me thinking to research more or chew on more.
ReplyDeleteI also think like lots of commenters have said it is a lot of common sense and is not French parenting vs American parenting. I took it as a support that you should listen to yourself and also maintain your life as a person as well as a parent.
P - I would love to hear more of your thoughts if you feel like you want to share.
Thank you. I'm having trouble putting my thoughts into words, it took me days to write this not-very-thoughtful post, so we'll see!
DeleteHa. You're a lot kinder and way more polite to naysayers than I was. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe books rocks. Wonderfully readable. And all that 'common sense' is based in sound child development theory as well, as it happens. People would do well to give it a go.
Oh I do love it when someone say's I'm politer than them. It doesn't happen often.
DeleteGreat discussion, I'm definitely keen to pick up a copy. I don't do well with parenting books either (we dipped our toe in the world of Gina Ford for about 2 hours not long after our eldest was born and that was enough to put me off for life), though as this is more cultural observation/account it sounds much more up my street. Fully support the idea of parents still retaining their own life /identity and not feeling guilty about it. We upped and moved to New Zealand for a year and a half when Lila was 2 and we from there we've come to Melbourne where we are living with our two kids. It's not always been easy but we wanted to see something of the world and the whole family have definitely benefited from the better lifestyle out here.
ReplyDeleteWell done you guys! What an adventure.
DeleteInterestingly I thought that the 'french' approach described in this book was not dissimilar to the Gina Ford approach, just a lot better packaged.
We've already chatted about this, but I figured I'd join in over here.
ReplyDeleteI was turned off because what seemed to me to be common sense "parenting tips" were being touted as groundbreaking, and it just seemed silly.
Also, like Celia, I assumed that's what it was- "parenting tips." A book about parenting. I definitely overthink being a parent (a lot. too much.), but I don't assume it to be the sort of thing that someone else can tell me how to do. I'd rather just navel gaze and write about what happens and think about what to do with my own kid than have someone TELL me what to do.
I'm much more open to reading the book after hearing that normal people like it- especially if it's intended as memoir rather than instruction manual.
Thanks for joining in! I'm glad that you're feeling more open to it. I am definitely not very open to 'parenting' books and the only ones I've read have been memoirs and I read them because I like memoirs, not because I was looking for tips. Sometimes I think maybe I should read more parenting books, seeing as I'm pretty willing to admit that I don't always have a clue what I'm doing, but I just can't bring myself to.
DeleteIt's partly the title. Americans are tired of French this and French that. I haven't read the book, but if you liked it, I'm sure it's sensible.
ReplyDeleteAmericans *do* love hating the French. And then loving them a little bit, then hating them a whole lot more.
DeleteOk as a french I have to comment on this!! I don't have kids yet but I have been raised "the french way" and seriously it's exactly the same as being raised by anybody else in our occidental countries.
ReplyDeleteOnly the non-french think we are better at educating/being fashionable/staying slim. Maybe the only thing at which we are the best is food ! :)
We don't smoke all the time, we don't spank our kids more than anyone else, and we do get fat!
Using the word french in the title is a good way to sell I think, because french is fashionable for foreigners, I think, from my own experience.
I will definitely check this book, not because of the french side, but because of the good reviews!!
Thank you so much for your contribution, it's great to hear from a genuine Frenchie! I totally agree with everything that you have said.
DeleteAnother book that is on my to read list.
ReplyDeleteI think it's always interesting to read another persons perspective (or memoir in this case) on a situation that you are going through/hoping to go through/have any kind of interest in. If you take something away from it, even better. I feel like a lot of people have judged this book by the name in its cover, which seems unreliable.
Oh I actually wanted to post about it today, I swear! It also had some kind of a life changing effect on me, and that's coming from someone who's somewhat French (OK, Quebecer), and five years into parenting. I thought it was AWESOME, mostly because it threw some sanity on everything else I've been reading and prompted me to try to chill the f out. I loved it on so many levels -and no, obviously, it foesn't mean that the French (or anyone else), are better.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you chimed in, I have been so interested to hear what you have to say about it from a somewhat-French point of view. I can't wait to read your post on it.
DeleteI tire of the 'the French are better at everything' notion that is fashionable at the moment. And that's as someone who seriously considers moving to France.
I also think that it was presented in a very antagonizing way in the US -a NYT article had a title that pretty much had nothing to do with the book, but echoed last year's super controversial Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
ReplyDeleteMarie-Eve, have you read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother? I'm really interested in that book too. (it wasn't very well publicized here, and certainly not with the controversy it had elsewhere.)
DeleteI will definitely check out this book! Maybe I can learn a thing or two about raising my kids. Anything that would help is welcome to me!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, I am keen to read this book. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing in the parenting stakes, just doing my best day to day!
ReplyDeleteI also don't understand people's annoyance at this book. Besides, in any country, regardless of the law there will be people smacking their children and smoking too much so I am not sure how this is relevant to hating a book like this!
I look forward to hearing whatelse you have to say about the book.
LOVED, loved, loved this book!! Our first child (a baby boy) is due in a little over a month. Reading this couldn't have been more timely. My husband and I felt that the "French way" was just basically a very very common sense approach to parenting. The way most of us were raised. Looking forward to some full night of sleep, hopefully (I just won't talk about that with all of my friends doing attachment parenting).
ReplyDeleteBeing a new parent and not wanting my beautiful little baby to be bought up like the little terrors next door, Im going to order this this book for me and the girlfriend to read. Seems to have mainly good reviews so hopefully it'll be worth it.
ReplyDeleteQuick question though, is is the sort of book you can read while doing other bits, or is it one you need to concentrate on? Just asking as I dont know whether to get it on the Kindle (read while out and about) or hardback (read at home).
I am 4 months pregnant and purchased this book a few months ago but had forgotten to read it. I picked it up again yesterday and OMG. Finally. Something that makes sense. There is SO MUCH competitive child rearing where I live. My husband is going to read it after me too.
ReplyDeleteSold. I just bought it. I've only been a parent for a month, so I'm beyond clueless. Any kind of inspiration sounds good to me right about now.
ReplyDeletei'm reading it now and am absolutely loving it. i totally want to sit with a a pensil and post-its and scribble down bits of reminders.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say, I read the book because of this post. And LOVED it. Babies sleeping through the night fascinated me as someone with no kids, cause it's the no sleeping that is one of the scary things about babies for me. Sleeping is my 2nd favourite hobby! (after reading.)
ReplyDeleteBut I also loved the whole 'mamas are still hot sexy women'. I LOVED that french people didn't get the concept of a MILF. That says so much to me. I wasn't 100% on board with the 'getting yourself fit and sexy asap post-birth', but i liked that women weren't only viewed as mothers but as people.
Me too, me too! Bought the book because of this post and read it in France on hols last week. And LOVED it. Found it really really funny in parts and spot on in its parenting observations. Love so many concepts it sets out, like the 'cadre' les 'betises' and the many meanings of 'sage.' Thank you!
DeleteSorry for the randomly late comment, but the conversation here is what first made me aware of this book and I just finished reading it. One thought is that over-parenting in the States could partly be because of the privatization of child care. I am 6 months pregnant and am currently putting my unborn child on wait-lists for pre-school (a sad necessity). Researching the options is overwhelming- each place touts their own philosophy, their own way of ensuring your child is stimulated and self-assured. This is all on a free market since there are no subsidized options for middle income families here. I never EVER thought I would be an overly protective or analytical parent, but since I'm going to be shelling out $1,000 a month for someone to look after our kid I figure I better form some sort of opinion around it. And so begins the "our way is better" rat race. Anyway, I really do enjoy seeing how people around the world figure out this stuff, which is why I like reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Kacey, don't apologise, it's really nice to hear your views, which I think make a lot of sense. I think that the free market of childcare/education plays a HUGE part (the biggest part?) in this whole discussion.
Delete