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Historically this blog has been where about 25% of our wedding photography work comes from and in these lean times when we're still bouncing back from moving the business 500 miles, it seems crazy to cut off any source of potential clients. And then there's this other um, thing, which I'm hesitant to even call a 'thing' because well, it's not really a Thing yet. I'm sort of maybe working on perhaps writing a book. And apparently the people who publish those book things are a whole lot more enthusiastic if you have 'a platform', ie a blog with readers and twitter followers and all that shit. Breaking up with the most established part of that platform at a time when even real writers who have published stuff struggled to get book deals seems a lot like the definition of Shooting Oneself in the Foot.
And so I remain in the limbo that I've been blogging/not-blogging in for about three years; wanting to write Proper Stuff but mired in a history of rambling about wedding decor and dogs on trampolines; knowing that my kids are my prime material but aware that they're getting bigger and bigger and less and less likely to want to be material; kind of interested in gardening and cooking and travel and knitting, but not really enough to write about any of it. And writing posts that start somewhere, or at least within sight of somewhere, and end absolutely nowhere at all.
Speaking entirely for myself, your blog is one of my very favourite internet ramble places and whilst more Cara would always be preferable if you do decide to go away from the internet you'll still be my first choice of wedding photographer(s). She says, with no plans of getting married any time soon, for all the help and comfort that might be.
ReplyDeleteI'll be reading till the end. Just so you know.
ReplyDeleteOh I totally admire anyone who chucks their blog in the bin. I've been feeling like that for ages too, and I don't think we're alone. It's hard isn't it. Part of me wants to light a virtual bonfire and burn the whole thing, and part of me can't bear to.
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely do that book thing though, that sounds like a really good plan.
First and foremost, yes, write a book. You were meant to write a book.
ReplyDeleteIt was hard to give up my old space. Really, really hard. I had been offered a job here and there from that blog, so it also felt incredibly irresponsible. I knew I wanted to keep writing, but I also knew that I needed a break and that it was time for me to steer my writing in a different direction. I toyed with the idea of refocusing the blog, but that always felt wrong to me. So i just took the plunge. And FUCK, the very moment I started writing in my new space, I felt a sense of excitement that I had not felt in years. I realize now that I just needed a clean start. Out with the old, on with the new sort of logic.
I do understand that you have a business that is attached to this blog, but I'm also certain that if you started a new blog and ended this blog with a post that led to your new blog, people would follow you. I just did that on LATC today. That way, you wouldn't be completely impossible to find. Or, if you're not ready to fully leave here, you can always write in a new space privately until you're ready to transition over.
It's hard, lady. I know. And for the record, no matter what you decide, I'll be reading till the end, too.
Reading to the end. Bringing a candle if needed.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of screaming "Please don't leave me" while gripping onto your ankles because, for me, you are a light in the dark of self righteous mummy bloggers who shill their kids for ca$h. But also, I totally understand the need to just get rid of the thing that you love but kind of makes you feel a bit guilty. I don't comment often, but I do read a lot.
ReplyDeleteWhat Pip said.
DeleteI will be here, or wherever you go. And if you write a book I will get it. And probably give it to everyone. You have been a source of fresh air during the tough times, and a source of hope and light, and balm on a wound, and an inspiration. I think I speak here for a lot of us, particularly those who have been unlucky enough to experience infertility, but also for anyone really, because you really have a way to say things and make them universal. And of course it is not only your words, but your beautiful photography and all the things you share and the things you find (expositions! Zoos! Flowers! Museums!). This is going to sound all weird and stalkerish but ever since I found your space I wished I could know you in real life and be friends.
ReplyDeleteCooking, Travel, Knitting, Parenting!!. the adventures of the most hilarious girls, I will read it. And we are just waiting for the time when we can hire you too :)
If you change platforms, please do let us know where you are going... I will go too!
I almost scrapped my own blog very recently, but a few things changed my mind (at least for now, until I get that angsty "I don't farm anymore so why the hell do I have a blog by the name of my old alpacas?" vibe on...)
ReplyDelete1. It has all of the history from my last five years and I was pretty fucking honest there. I think the bloggin world lacks honesty a lot of times. So even if people/customers go back and read about the mess with my marriage, okay. I guess I'm more human. They can also go back and see how beautiful everything was at the same time.
2. I simplified it. And still am. I made a whole new website for photography and art and link to the blog from there and now I'm posting mostly lazy photo posts whenever the hell I want to and on the rare occasion I actually write words. I've read this "technique" (ha) is called "slow blogging." Like slow food or something. So I guess that's trendy and shit.
Anyway, where ever you decide to post... here or somewhere new or nowhere at all, I'll read because your writing gets feeling like I'm giggling with my best friend from high school and that's awesome. So happy you're taking the book plunge!
Oh. Please! Don't. Go. (she yelled from Texas)
ReplyDeleteWe'll follow :)! Just give us a heads up somewhere here or at your new place, if you feel like your archives aren't something you want new fans to be paging through. Of course we heart your style, but I've definitely said my goodbyes .. and come back to my blog ... and then abandoned it without a goodbye again :D Do whatever makes you feel free -- that is how I feel :) And artists (which I believe writers are, too) can absolutely evolve or change their perspective, and sometimes their past style can interfere with their new style -- or, that's how they feel (like googling will bring up that stuff). Good luck with your decision, and best of luck :)!
ReplyDeleteAnnnnnnd I also feel like I missed the point of this post. So, mostly I want to say: we support you, in anything & everything :)! Thank you for all you've shared with us :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had advice for you, lady. I'm pretty much in the same boat....
ReplyDelete(um, take that ugly "TOTS 100" thingie off your sidebar. maybe that'll make you feel better.)
ReplyDeleteI'm a long-time reader and sometimes commenter (though mostly the "comment as" form has bailed on me or I've fucked it up ...). My kids are huge (teens/twenty-somethings) so it's testimony to your sheer brilliance that your thoughts, photos and kiddos resonate so deeply with me. I too will follow whatever bread crumbs you leave ... My oldest is marrying this summer and if I could bring you our way, on wings above the clouds, I would. When we were talking about wedding photographers, your work was the example that all others rested on! I know you'll make a decision that feels right. And when you do, we'll all be right there to turn the next page with you. X
ReplyDeleteLove your blog. Your writing make me smile, and think... So a book could be awesome... But whatever, do what makes you happy, although if you keep blogging somewhere else let us know! ;)
ReplyDeleteI am not a potential wedding customer (don't plan on getting married any time soon, as it would have to go through a divorce and all that shite), but I love your blog and Instagram feed. I have followed your recommendations on books and films and I really admire how you're bringing up your kids. And I was going to say all that to you when I saw you once in Balham station and you smiled at my baby and offered to help to get the buggy on the train but I didn't want to freak you out. So you will be sorely missed here if you decide to go (but please let us know about what happens with your book! Sounds sort of maybe really interesting).
ReplyDeleteEven if you were to write a rambly I-don't-know-what-to-write post once a month, it would still make my day and be some of the best writing out there. So.
ReplyDeleteExactly as heiressflowers says! stay ;) Your rants are wonderful, no matter how often or little. I am a long time reader (although I don't think commenter, terrible, sorry!) and I would be sorry to see you go :( But in honesty I really don't think that should be a reason to stay if you are not enjoying yourself. Just know that you would be very much missed!
ReplyDeleteDon't stop, I would miss you. And I'm not ever going to hire you to photograph my wedding, so that's maybe a bit selfish of me and serves you with no purpose, but I WOULD buy your book. And I'm sure everybody else who keeps coming back even though we aren't particularly interested in weddings or gardening or dogs on trampolines (glad I missed that one), would buy any book you write, too. So maybe just don't piss us selfish people off and keep going until your book is finished, okay?
ReplyDelete…should add to that "not ever," because I am married already. And not planning on doing it again. At the moment.
ReplyDeleteYou and ESB are my two most favourite blogs in the world. I got married five years ago and I still check in every day. I worry about you and what might be happening if you don't post for a month. But you get one life. You have to do what makes you happy. Don't waste your time being chained to something you don't love, or feels like a chore unless you must, is my philosophy. I'll miss you but I will be excited to see where you turn up next.
ReplyDeleteNo no no no! You are the most helpful blog/book/anything I have found for inspiring me before and after the birth of our daughter. I'm a librarian, so that is saying something. In her first weeks of life, I kept repeating extracts from your 'babies are hard' post like a mantra. And your beautiful photographs of your family are ones I come back and visually feast on all the time. I live in Australia, so I can't see myself ever bringing you business, but I would in a heartbeat if we were even in the same hemisphere. Don't go...change your topics entirely if you like, but please stay here, and keep posting your spare exquisite prose and speaking photos.
ReplyDeleteAhh don't give it up, for exactly the reasons you said. Post when you feel like it, enjoy life the rest of the time. :)
ReplyDeleteI've been sitting with my hands poised above the keys for a while now... not sure how to articulate. I don't know if this will come out right, but I'll write it and post it anyway. I understand the desire to quit. There is a general blogger shift in motion, maybe that has to do with some sort of boredom of ones own blog, so many blogs are a certain age...and that would be true, but also it has to do with shifts within the individual blogger. I haven't posted on mine for so long because "I have been going through some stuff" and before now that was exactly the sort of shit one shared on their own blog. Now one waits until it's over and posts about it afterward "Oh I learned so much about myself in my time away"... back to business. But the "getting through it part" so often was the posts content before and it seems to somehow, slowly became not necessarily things you want to share or are too effing tired to share. Or you don't really know the meaning... the happy ending... to share. So I get all that (or I'm just rambling). But really all I wanted to say is that I've loved your blog for years from across the world and even if you wrote a book it wouldn't be the same (though totally do that!!! I will buy it!). And your instagram photos are great but not the same. It has/does mean something to me is all I'm trying to say. Maybe these blogs of a certain age can slow down but not disappear. Either way thank you for sharing yourself and your lovely family to this point. I have loved following along. Really.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing, you know that. I will read whatever and wherever you post it. This space is lovely but I get needing a new one, too.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wish people left comments like this on my blog. These kind of comments are the kind of thing that keeps one going! x
Should I start hating IG? I feel like I grew up with the bloggers that I read; all of whom started the blog when they were single, then got engaged, got married, had kids.. then IG happened, then they shut down the blog. It will be so sad to see another favorite blog to go, but I get where you're all coming from. Will be reading this till the end too.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thank you so much for being real, especially about being a mother and how hard it gets sometimes.
Write a book. Write a book.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying DON'T write here. Obviously I want to read you anywhere. But let's be honest, I killed my blog years ago (A year ago? Some time ago. Who knows when exactly but RIP). I'm really happy with the online magazine I built in it's place (or whatever the hell we're calling that format) but I don't even think of myself as a blogger anymore. I did that, I loved it. It's not whatever I'm doing now. I MISS blogging a lot. I miss us all having blogs a lot. But I also know we can only go forward. Onward. Whatever that means. So give yourself permission to go onward, yeah? As much permission as you need, at least. I'll love it here till forever.
But write that book.
I really love your blog. I only stumbled across it within the last year or two, but honestly it felt like I'd met an old friend. Your words have moved me and inspired me and I echo everyone else here in saying you should absolutely write a book. And maybe let us know about it so we can demand it in the places we live that are half a world away from where you live.
ReplyDeletei love this blog...please don't go!
ReplyDelete