Tuesday, December 01, 2009

December 1st...



Every few months a small brown envelope drops through my letterbox and something lurches in my chest. Something like sadness, something like regret, something an awful lot like loss. I know what those envelopes mean. Their size, their deceptive lightness, the small piece of sellotape across the back that stops their news from sneaking out before it reaches its intended. I know that when I open it the words 'we regret to inform you... passed away... hospice... many of you knew her... for those that would like to attend... details will follow.' will escape from that envelope and permeate my heart, like a malignant cloud, and will follow me wherever I may go to try to excape.

Most of the time the names don't mean much to me, just another client of the charity I used to work for. Sometimes they ring a bell, a story I heard, an anecdote shared comes back to me. And twice those names have belonged to the mothers of children I used to work with, mothers who would open the door to me weekly and allow me to take their daughters by the hand and spend an afternoon with them in the cinema, at the zoo, in toy shops while they took the small chance they were given to have a rest. Daughters who are now parentless.

If an envelope were to drop through my door every time someone, somewhere dies from Aids I would receive over 5000 a day. If an envelope dropped through my door for every child everywhere that was orphaned to aids I would be the proud owner of over 20 million envelopes. As it is I just have my own small collection. Around a dozen names in my desk drawer, lost to a disease that is entirely preventable.


December 1st. World Aids Day. If nothing else, remember.




17 comments:

  1. that is so touching. and beautiful..in a very sad sober kind of way. thank you for that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. a beautiful write to remind us of the tragedy of aids

    ReplyDelete
  3. thank you for sharing... a beautiful reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  4. p, i bet if someone found your heart, they would see that it was made of gold. beautifully written, thank you.
    xox

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for this. Beautiful. I needed to remember that Dec. 1st is not only the day my son starts to open the chocolate Advent calendar his grandma bought him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. so true and beautifully written. thanks for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i didn't know that today was world aids day, thank you so much for sharing. it's so important to take time to remember those people who are affected by such a horrible disease, and think about any small way that we can help.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Remembering, this is always key.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Such a beautiful, touching post on this day. I've been feeling thoughtful and quiet.

    ReplyDelete
  10. thank you for making me think.. you clearly have a beautiful heart..

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well said ... really well said. Good for you - it's inspiring to see someone using their blog in a form of activism every now and then for issues that are often forgotten.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is a beautiful, and human, post. Thanks, hon.

    (And a sidenote: I am impressed that they send you these letters to let you know, painful as it may be. In my work with very ill people, I've never seen this, and I only hear about what's happened to people through word of mouth, sometimes. I think about my former clients every day and it kills me not to know what's happened to them.)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thank you for posting about that. I used to volunteer at a local HIV charity,and was shocked, at first, at how many people living in the UK contract HIV every year. And the stigmas attached to it! I was once doing a box collection and someone walked past and shoved the box on the floor! I laughed at them and they ran away- but i was so shocked!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm arriving a little late, but the feelings remain the same--very powerful. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are my dearest milkmaids friend and with this post, you became mine. Thank you for hope and tears together.

    ReplyDelete

play nice.