Seedlings, neuroses.

The interior monologue of a first-time gardener.

'Look at all the small green things! I planted those! Wait, I didn't plant all of those, which ones are weeds and which ones are the things I planted? Are these weeds? Or are they poppy seedlings? What about these ones, are they weeds or cosmos? Are these small purpley ones weeds? Or are the not weeds? WHICH ONES ARE WEEDS? WHY DIDN'T I SOW THINGS IN STRAIGHT LINES LIKE MONTY DON TOLD ME TO? I don't know which ones to pull out. Actually, I don't think I want to pull out any of them, they're green and the garden is brown and green is better than brown. But I'm sure I've heard that you're supposed to pull out weeds, so maybe I should pull out something? There, that one looked rubbish, I've pulled it out. Now I'm sad. Am I done now? What is a weed anyway? Isn't it just a free plant? Maybe I should just leave everything? But then it's going to end up a mess and all those pretty poppies and ammis and cosmos and larkspur and delphiniums I planted will be swamped by ugly plants and it will be tragic. But what if I pull them out, thinking that they're weeds? Oh balls, it's all going to be a disaster. I don't like gardening. It's too difficult. Cara, pull yourself together and stop being a pansy. Ohh, pansies, I forgot to plant pansies. FOCUS CARA. WEEDING. Okay, I'm just going to pull out all of these ones that look like they're probably not something I planted because they're everywhere and I didn't plant anything everywhere. But maybe I'll leave a few, in case they're pretty. Fuck, gardening is stressful. I need a drink.'

*sorry, I can't find a credit for the image. There's only so much good stuff that comes up when you google pictures of crazy women gardening and this one came from one of those lovely tumblrs that are all pretty, pretty, kittens, pretty, woman in garden, pretty pretty, anime porn, pretty, EXCUSE ME WHAT WAS THAT.' You know the ones. 

The McGlynns {A London family photo session}

You may already know Lauren, she's the force of nature that is Lauren McGlynn photography. She is also mama to Baby Arthur (his official title) and wife to Aidan. When they were all in London earlier this month I jumped at the chance to take some pictures of their little family, all together in the sunshine.

Arthur is totally adorable with cheeks for miles. Lauren warned me about something called Baby Apocalypse, which is apparently his speciality, but he was nothing but charming while we hung out together. Ammie was pretty besotted. Not as besotted as she was with Lauren though, spot the interloper about five photos in.

It was so lovely to hang out with these sweeties and to watch Lauren being a mama. I watched from a fairly useless distance as she fought long and hard for this role and it was seriously, genuinely heart-warming to see her doing it; being the warm, loving (hippy) mother that she dreamed of being. And while it might not all be easy (secret; it never is) she makes motherhood beautiful.

Hanging out with Lauren is also a bit of an ego-boost, she says things like 'hey Cara, you know what you're doing with motherhood AND photography, tell me your secrets' (in that adorable American-in-Edinburgh accent) and I laugh hysterically because actually most of the time I'm just spraying and praying, with both. But still, it's nice when someone tells you that you at least look like you're not a total mess.

With that, here are some of the pictures I took of Lauren in our local park and on our back doorstep. If I'm feeling brave at some point I might share the ones she took of us, which bring the total count of pictures of the four of us up somewhat significantly.

all photos by Bird and Bear, London Family Photography

France, April.

In April we had a week in Languedoc at N's parents house in the hills. We spent a lot of time on their terrace which has come over all Grand Designs since we were last there. The 'swimming pool' however is still a large hole in the hillside with a trailer balanced precariously on one edge.

It's beautiful in April, as it is in February and in September too (I still haven't got that film developed by the way.)