Monday, November 29, 2010

stfu




People with babies who sleep through the night need to shut the fuck up about it lest someone stab them in the eye with a fork.

That's all.


35 comments:

  1. ah i love you for telling it like it is. hope those bebes learn to sleep through the night sometime soon.

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  2. well... you know it's because they drug them, RIGHT?! ;)

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  3. Oh yeah. Neither of mine slept through the night until they were 2. I tried "sleep training" the second one. All that did was scar me for life. On the other hand, mine were the best teenagers ever, having tortured me so much as babies that they were over it.

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  4. Still waiting, 9 months on.

    Their time will come, I keep telling myself Lena's getting her worst part out of the way now and she'll be a delightful toddler and teen. I can live in hope.

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  5. Yuuuup. That gave me the mighty radge also, insufferably smug, well rested fuckers. Don't believe this 6 week shite either, they'll just start sleeping longer naturally as they get older. Just attempt to hold onto your sanity by a fingernail or so...

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  6. If you had not posted the picture of them screaming, I would refuse to believe they are anything but angels.

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  7. Which is WHICH?? I have to know so I can imagine their screams properly.

    You need to keep pictures of them screaming forever, I think.

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  8. I think the whole concept of "sleeping through the night" should fuck off.

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  9. (Glad to have you back by the way)

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  10. I'm happy to see that motherhood has not made you sentimental! What beautiful babies you have. xoxo

    P.S. Dart gun.

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  11. amazing. smug bastards is right. They are so beautiful, even if they are destroying your sleep patterns.

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  12. I so agree. Mine did not sleep through until she was three. I think that may have been the last time too......

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  13. I'm pretty sure they are lying, if that makes you feel any better.

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  14. ella in the polka dots, amelia with the single spot on her onesie. am i right?

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  15. You know who else needs to stfu? People who say that breastfeeding doesn't hurt if you're doing it right. That's utter bullsh-t. It hurts (like razor blades slicing through flesh) until your nipples get beyond looking like masticated meatballs and essentially become two callouses attached to your chest. And that process takes a solid month, if not more.

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  16. DON'T TELL ME THESE THINGS.

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  17. Oh my goodness, do I agree with you! We finally "sleep trained" at 9 months because we could no longer handle the 3-5/x nightly wakeups. At 21 months, we're down to just once a night and it feels like heaven. I can't even imagine how it must be with twins who wake one another up with their cries!

    Sometime in the first year, I was convinced that everyone but me had babies who slept through the night. That was all I read about on the blogs, anyway. Then I found out a friend was in the same situation I was, and explained my confusion. She pointed out that the ones with the sleeping babies are the only ones who have the time and energy to blog!

    (And P.S. I've heard some people say they were totally smug over first babies who slept all night, then found themselves totally unprepared for subsequent babies who did not. Their comeuppance makes me absurdly happy.)

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  18. I know this seems mad, given the context, but that photo makes my ovaries very exited. Stupid ovaries are gonna get me in trouble, I can tell.

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  19. you know, i had THREE babies...ok all at different times...and NONE of them slept through the night..i had 11 years of disturbed sleep patterns. i believe that people who say their babies sleep through the night are LYING. they put them in places where they cant hear them. bastards. cruel bastards. x j

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  20. Pah, doesn't it just drive you nuts when people do that?! Looking back, the people who used to say that to me were probably the same one who were maybe a bit insecure and trying to 'prove' their parenting skills, which is a bit silly when you think about because as a parent you don't actually have any input into whether they choose to sleep or not! Doesn't stop you wanting to give their sleeping child a bit of a prod when nobody is looking though!

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  21. Hi babies. You are SO PRETTY.

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  22. Oh my!! Yeah, I've never heard of someone actually sleeping all night long every night so like Celia said, they must be drugged!

    PS - I'm hosting a giveaway on my blog, come check it out!

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  23. Oh... goodness... hang in there!!

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  24. I swear I am not trying to be one of those smug bastard-fuckers, whatever you all want to call someone whose baby sleeps well. My 8 week old is good sleeper most of the time, not quite through the night but very close. My friend, two neighbors and our pediatrician all recommended reading "Baby Wise" by Ezzo and Bucknam. It has made a world of difference for our little one, it might help you out too. The friends who recommended it to me have kids who all sleep through the night which convinced me to check out the book.

    That said I can't imagine taking care of twins. You are a rock star for sure. I hope your little ones let you get some sleep soon.

    Congratulations they are beautiful!

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  25. you just made me laugh at loud, which I am pretty sure woke up the kids.

    I am SO fucking sorry.

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  26. you'll come to find that parenting is an extreme sport.

    "oh, she's not walking yet? sue walked at 10 months."
    "i'm sure he'll talk soon, I think brad is just advanced for his age."

    effers. hang in there!! xoxo

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  27. I think that depends on what you class as through the night. I remember a friend trying to convince me that her son slept through because he went from midnight to 4am. That isn't through the night!!!

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  28. Oh babies.

    Tell each other to sleep and be good for ma and pa.

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  29. oh god, they're gorgeous. and terrifying. but more gorgeous than terrifying.

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  30. here is the secret- they are lying!

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  31. Brilliant. Completely awesome xx
    ps. those are two of the cutest darn kiddos ever xx

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play nice.