Sunday, December 18, 2011

scenes from a marriage

I Can't Explain And I Won't Even Try

Scene: boy and girl walking in the park. Boy pushing double buggy, girl slipping around on ice, on verge of full blown panic attack. 

girl: agh! I'm going to fall over. I don't LIKE it.  
boy: you'll be fine.  
girl: that's not comforting. Will you catch me if I fall over?  
boy: I'll try 
girl: THAT'S NOT COMFORTING. Say 'don't worry Pix, I'll catch you if you fall over.' 
boy: don't worry Pix, I'll probably catch you if you fall over.  
girl: BLOODY HELL. I don't care if you actually catch me, I just need to hear you say you will. It's reassuring. 
boy: It's lying.  
girl: ohforfucksake. I'll just reassure myself shall I?  
boy: probably for the best.  
girl: fuck. 

*I Can't Explain and Won't Even Try by Stefan Bruggemann


  1. hahah- classic marriage scene. ah, love.


  2. very funny!hope you didn't fall..

  3. very funny!hope you didn't fall..

  4. why can't they just play along...very funny.

  5. Oh oh. That could have been us. Just for the record I show the husband, and he said yeah "that would be lying". Oh why can't they just be on our side?

  6. Every time you write one of these stories I get more convinced that our husbands were separated at birth.

  7. comforted to know it's not just us :)

  8. How funny - for us, the roles probably would've been reversed.

  9. i need you to write a memoir

  10. Ha ha. Reminds me of a story a good friend told me from when she and her husband were dating. They were walking home late at night through a sketchy neighborhood, she was wearing open sandals, and a big cockroach skittered across her foot. She screamed like mad, and her boyfriend's reaction was to take off running as fast as he could. When they caught up, she explained what happened and he said "Oh, I thought you were being mugged." Her: "So you RAN AWAY FROM ME????!?" She married him anyway.

  11. similar scene is repeated just about everyday over here on the other side of the world. god love 'em.

  12. Ah ha ha, love this! So true!

  13. bahahaha....

    sounds like our house, except he calls me a hooker and I call him a douchebag.

    ahhh, love.


play nice.