Monday, June 16, 2014

On really needing to pull oneself together.

Brooks Salzwedel

You know when someone asks you to do something that you don't normally do and you say 'okay' because Why Not? (and you need the money) and then it gets to the day before and you are on the verge of vomiting and you cry actual tears and wonder if there is any way you can get out of this because YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THIS AND OHMYGOD IT'S TERRIBLE AND YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE and then on the day you leave super early and you walk very very slowly like a dog on the way to the vet or a seven year old due at the head teacher's office and you feel physically sick all of the way and the rain is dripping on you and your phone dies so you can't actually be sure where you are going and you get hungry and the only thing that you can find to eat is a £12 sandwich which turns out to be half a sandwich and so now you're still scared and still hungry but you also want to punch whoever came up with stupid fucking Le Pain Quotidien and their stupid fucking half sandwiches and then you finally get there and you have to start doing what you're so scared of doing and you're still a little bit shaking and kicking yourself for ever agreeing to it in the first place and wait, what is this? You're enjoying yourself? And you're having a good time? And you're actually quite good at what you do?

Yeah. That.


12 comments:

  1. You are SO FUCKING GOOD at what you do. As for the rest, oh man, do you have my sympathies. (Especially on those expensive London sandwiches. Highway robbery!)

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  2. Yes do pull yourself together. Those photographs are beautiful and interesting.

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  3. This is such an accurate description of how I feel pretty much any time I take on any piece of work (up until the Pain Quotidien part). Stunning images though, so I'm glad you got through your anxiety and pulled it together.

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  4. Next level, baby, next level. These photos are, as has been said, all kinds of awesome.

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  5. Incredible. Time to start backing yourself, you rock.

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  6. These are beautiful my love. And those gardens! You have to take me there xxx

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  7. I usually do not comment but this time I have to. Usually, I do not enjoy engagement posts on photo blogs. It is as if everyone is trying too hard. I was surprised you had done an engagement shoot. These photos are gorgeous! And they do not feel contrived or trying too hard, they are so wonderful.

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  8. Wow I haven't come across a situation where I need to pay £12 for sandwich, but all I can add here is that you have done some great job with this set of images. It is quite of challenge, sometimes, shooting in London. But good photographer welcomes challenges ;)

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  9. I have that feeling on a regular basis. Every wedding I take photo's at poses a new and interesting challenge. It is weird feeling... i half enjoy it, half dread it.

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  10. The pictures turned out beautifully! Well done. :)

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  11. Amazing! And yeah...know THAT feeling. But the fear ( that is what i call it) is good, it makes us better Xx

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  12. Steven Pressfield says some interesting things in The War of Art about fear being a good indicator what direction you are supposed to be going.... Sounds like your path is the right one. :)

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play nice.