French Children Probably Throw Food, Sometimes.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I don't think I know of any parent who wouldn't benefit, even just a little, from reading this book (this book in America). 

It's fascinating from an anthropology point of view (I think that it might even be interesting to the No Babeeez crowd, but I could be wrong) but also hugely inspiring as a parent.  

I've read a lot of reviews, quite a number from people who haven't actually read the book, and they seem to fall into three camps: 'well, this seems very sensible' from people who don't have children and from people who do have children: 'yes, this is how we do it' from people who do have children (colour me sceptical) or (and this is mostly from Americans) 'how dare the French tell us how to raise our kids?'.   

Personally I don't understand the vitriol, but then I'm quite willing to contemplate the idea that I don't have a clue what I'm doing when it comes to parenting and admit that I don't have a plan, I'm just making it up as I go along. I can understand that people who do have a plan might not like being told that they're wrong.  

But that's the thing, the book doesn't tell you to do anything, it's just one woman's experience of being an American raising her kids in Paris and trying to figure out why her kids and the other English-speaking kids she knows don't behave like French ones. She's not a Francophile, in fact she seems distinctly unsettled by the notion of her daughter 'growing up French', which is why the blanket reaction of 'I'm not reading that book. The French smoke too much and they spank their kids, why should I listen to anything they have to say about parenting?' is a little puzzling, the French aren't telling you to do anything, they're too busy being French to give a damn what anyone else is doing.  (FYI, I've never seen a French kid being smacked and I've never seen a French parent smoking while looking after their kids. I predict we'll be spending a lot of time in French playgrounds in the future and I'm pretty excited about observing and taking notes. No, really.) 

I'm not going to tell you what I learned from it or in what ways it changed how Nye and I parent* I'm just going to ask that you think about reading it. I don't think it's too dramatic to say that I found it a game-changer.  

I would be really interested to hear what you thought of the book if you've read it, what you think about it if you haven't read it and why you think people are so resistant to it.

*Not in this post anyway. Depending on how the comments go I might write a follow up post in the future. and to talk about what I thought in more detail in the comments though. 

oddities

God the internet is wonderfully odd.

(thanks Chloe)

* photo by unknown photographer, via Buzzfeed.

Multiple choice

You're in a cubicle in the Ladies at the supermarket when you hear violent and repeated vomiting, peppered with small groans and whimpers coming from the cubicle next to you. You assume the vomitter is:

a) pregnant

b) hungover

c) contagious.

Your reaction is to:

a) check if they are ok

b) leave in such a rush that the vomitter isn't quite certain that you had finished peeing before you made a run, yes A RUN, for the door.

(The first question is one I'm genuinely interesting in, I'd always assume c) first, b) second and a) as a complete afterthought. The second question is just me being passive aggressive.)

*photo by Andross

I can't decide...

I can't decide if this is gorgeous or if it looks like an unfortunate incident in a feather and glue factory...

Bijou by Elizabeth Filmore.

We're confused....

Wedding presents.

Do you open them when you receive them or do you open them once you're married?

I know you're not supposed to thank people until after the wedding at which point you send out a card with a picture of yourself on it (because nothing says gratitude better than 'I love this picture of myself so much and I thought you would too'.)

But that seems rude. Surely you should thank people as soon as a present arrives? But if you're not supposed to open it then do you just thank them for 'the present' as opposed to whatever the present is?

Or do you open it and thank them for the 'whatever it turns out to be which is a complete surprise because you most certainly didn't accidentally click the link on your wedding list website that tells you what people bought you and also tells you not to touch said link'?

Or do you not open it and pretend you don't know what it is even though you do? Do you thank the giver at the wedding? Is that rude? Does that embarrass them and put them on the spot? Do people expect to be thanked with a slightly disturbing greetings card?

Help.

(I should add - the confusion is in relation to gifts that have started arriving in the mail, not presents that people bring on the day!)