an update on that whole anxiety thing.

I really suck at updating you guys on stuff, just ask anyone who's waiting for those posts I said I was going to write about IVF and childbirth (in brief, neither as bad as I was led to believe, one even positively joyful) but I'm trying to be less of a jerk so I thought I would let you know how I'm doing.  

I'm doing good. The anxiety is gone, I'm only mildly emotionally irrational and I'm functioning as normal again. I'm not entirely sure why, several things happened at once: my mum arrived with a selection of homoeopathic and herbal treatments, March ended and a couple of days later so did the anxiety. It turned into hopeless sobbing for a few days and then that passed too. I'm still not exactly exuberant but I'm good and that in itself is a blessed relief. I also let go of the house selling/moving thing and stopped looking at houses for sale in London. It will happen when it happens and in the meantime we have a really nice house to life in that doesn't need rewired or re-plumbed or re-anythinged. And more likely still, I took the PMS thing seriously. I mean, it's not exactly news that my hormones are insane and this is the first time in almost a decade that I haven't been on some sort of hormone suppressant to try and control my endometriosis, and so the chances that they're a bit out of whack and making me feel kind of crazy seems relatively high. Determined to try and treat it naturally before going back on any sort of medications I started taking the vitamins and minerals that I used to take before I got pregnant and that I've delighted in being lax about since then because I'm better now and don't need them (ha!)  

Anyway, that's where I am for now. I figure exuberance will come, in time.  

Oh, and the coffee thing. I'm back to one, weak, cup a day and you're right, I should give it up and see what happens. But I don't want to. 

*image by Anahata Katkin 

apparently it's some sort of holiday.

Apparently it's easter. I had no idea. I mean, I knew it was in April sometime that that this is April (thank God) but I couldn't have put a date on it, it's one of the joys of being self-employed; there are no public holidays. Have a nice Easter, if that's something you do. See you next week. 

*Sir Hopsalot (the new love of my life), on etsy, by  Forest Blue. 

 

Hugh Fernley Weddingstall.

Guys, did you know that you can get married at River Cottage? And have Hugh Fernley Wittingstall cater your wedding? River Cottage. Fernley. 

Amazing.

(I'm aware that this will mean absolutely nothing to you if you don't live in the UK, but trust me, it's a big deal to a British eco foodie type.)


*Image from a spectacular River Cottage wedding, by Aneta Mak via Reverie magazine. 

corners.

We finally finished our house. If you've been reading for a long time then you might remember our no hot water/no heating/no ceiling phases which lasted longer than anyone would care for. But it's finally finished and ready for someone to buy please. 

I'm better at little corners than whole rooms. Whole rooms intimidate me. Whenever I've moved house I've always packed one box with my favourite pretty things and as soon as I've arrived I've unpacked that box into a small corner somewhere and been home. One day I'll master whole rooms but in the meantime here some of the small corners.

Notes. 

photo 2: Did anyone else buy Nova when it was relaunched? I loved that magazine and it seemed like a not-so-small miracle that it appeared in our local shop on our little island where you couldn't get your Sunday papers until Monday morning every month. Until it didn't and I cried real tears. I was 16 when Nova came out for the second time, I'm pretty sure it changed my life.
Operation Alphabet is an amazing kids book that its very kind authors sent me to review. I haven't done it yet because whenever I get it out to photograph W&P are ALL OVER it and it's a disaster, but lemme tell you, it's gorgeous and if you're looking for a kiddy book for slightly older kiddies, you should buy it.   

photo 4: Do you like my red anglepoise lamp? TK Maxx baby! £14!   

photo 11: I don't wear Coco Mademoiselle. I was given it 12 years ago and I kept it because the bottle made me feel all fancy. So if you're imagining me smelling like that then stop. I smell like damp laundry. Sexay. 

bye bye summer.

It was warm. For five whole days. I got sunburned. 

It was the longest summer I remember in Scotland. 

It went to my head and I forgot to focus. 

he loved it so much he ate it.

This made my week. It's been a while since I loved something so much that I ate it. If we don't count cake. 

“Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.” 

― Maurice Sendak via Shaun Usher.

    * vintage image, source unknown.