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A lot of the time I'm not really that big on talking (I have two kids, they're loud, I'm tired, my brain hurts, shhhhhh.) But mostly I understand that other people like to talk and that I'm the weirdo here so I do my best to play along. However. There are three situations in which I'm pretty certain that it's not okay to talk to me, like ever;
1. during the cinema
2. while I'm on the toilet
3. when I'm reading a menu.
Non-negotiable, don't do it, I won't forgive you.
I'm aware that I'm a grumpy arse but these seem reasonable to me, right? Have I missed any other truly non-negotiable no-chat situations?
*Russian 'FFS, stop blabbing our secrets to the enemy ' poster.
During pivitol scenes in complicated and possibly foreign crime dramas!
ReplyDeleteGod yes. Do not talk to me when I'm reading subtitles.
DeleteWhen I'm reading anything and when I've got earphones in, earphones in means I'm listening to somethingelse ie not you, take the hint.
ReplyDeleteAhh, but earphones also give you the perfect excuse not to reply. 'la la la, I can't hear you.'
DeleteWhen I am trying to get to sleep. (And especially so if you have just got home from the pub, a bit tipsy. Yes, I know you love me, just tell me in the morning...)
ReplyDeleteOMG the toilet! Seriously, just leave me the hell alone in there.
ReplyDeletePeople always seem to NEED to talk to me when I'm just about to finish up the last few pages of a book! And it makes me crazy because I've usually fallen in love with the characters and it's a really emotional time when I have to end that relationship, and then to have someone asking me about dinner or if I remembered to pick up this, that or the other--AHHHHH! Just leave me alone until I'm done!
ReplyDeleteAnd by people, I mean my husband. Who I love very much, but who needs to leave me the heck alone when I'm reading!
DeleteYeah, by 'people' I mean my husband too!
Deleteon the restroom, a photo of steve in our bathroom sink appeared on an italian pet blog recently. i translated the content (which was about pets following you into the bathroom) and it read, in part,
ReplyDeleteI only know that if they are in the bathroom and the cat knocks, I can not help but open the door. It does not matter if you use makeup for an hour, catching up brushes and stuffed chew with expertise in the washing machine : I am his, my time is his, his is my will.
so there's that.
I can forgive pets talking to me when I'm peeing.
DeleteMy cats think its their right to come in for a smooch when I'm in the bathroom. Even if I've closed the door. Cue scrabbling and pawing the door until it opens. We have no lock on the door so they can still open it. I should probably fix that.....
DeleteIn the morning, when I have mumbled to the 6am alarm, "Wake me at 7," do not ask me at 6:15am, "So I should wake you at 7?"
ReplyDeleteOh yes! In the morning. Not for a least the first 30 minutes. Or when I first get in to the office. Same rules. Give me 30 minutes to get my head there...
DeleteDitto on the last few pages of a book (or minutes of a film) plus when I'm in the other room and I JUST TOLD YOU I can't hear you. Or if I'm counting.
ReplyDeletesee-i am an annoying thing that talks in the cinema...but hates it when people talk to me if I am wrting an email, in my classroom, while I am on a non-contact period...can you not see I am busy...don't just carry on talking...
ReplyDeleteWhen I am on the phone. Even if I am not the one talking, it means I am LISTENING to the other person, so shut up.
ReplyDeletewhen i stub my toe or whatever and am in complete and UTTER agony and someone says
ReplyDelete'what?! what happened...WHAT?'
i. will. tell. you. when. im. finished. crying.
for me it's when i'm trying to write. i hate when people (my husband) talk to me when i'm trying to string a few words together -- i always lose my train of thought and IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. (we have argued about this recently)
ReplyDeleteyeah, me too.
DeleteWhen I am reading a book on the bus. It might be my only chance to read that day, I get terribly bitter when a stranger takes it as an invitation to make inane small talk.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm on *any* form of public transport. If I did not board said transport with you then please do not speak to me. At all.
DeleteWhen trying to merge into another lane of traffic!
ReplyDeleteAh yes. If I drove I'm pretty sure I would have a DON'T SPEAK TO ME WHEN I'M DRIVING policy.
Deletejust found your blog, love it!
ReplyDeletethank you and welcome.
DeleteOn the toilet, yes! I HATE when people continue talking after you've gone into a stall. Just leave me alone, please!!!
ReplyDeleteNon talking situation...In the car when i am passenger, it's cosy and i have my eyes shut - i am probably daydreaming so don't interrupt.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am watching 'Downham Abbey'
ReplyDeleteOn the phone. I hate talking on the phone enough as it is!
ReplyDeleteI second the hatred of people trying to make chat whilst I am reading a book in pubic. It's always a creepy dude - he always asks "what are you reading?" which should be obvious as I've already done my best to put the book between me & him so he should be able to see the title very clearly. I always want to respond by saying "I THOUGHT THIS IS WHAT WEDDING RINGS WERE FOR! TO WARD OF CREEPS LIKE YOU!"
ReplyDeleteWhen I've swallowed water and it's gone down the wrong tube and I'm coughing and choking and my husband keeps asking me if I'm okay.
ReplyDeleteThat really irritates me.
But I should forgive him because I always talk to him 1.5 hours into a movie and he really hates it. I just always get a little bored at that point for some reason and I need to check in with him.