scene: me and mother of three boys, aged 5 months, 3 and 4.5, sitting chatting while 25 toddlers eat playdoh.
her: what have you been doing this week?
me: Nye was away for 2 days so it was just me the girls for a couple of days, it was mayhem. (Very proud of myself) It was the first time I've looked after them alone overnight!
her: My husband has just been away for 9 weeks..... So.
In my defence, they were sick, we were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no transport and the weather was atrocious. But yeah, apparently looking after my own kids for two days isn't that big an achievement. Who knew?
* photo via The New York Times.
;)
ReplyDeleteDon't justify - I bet the first time she did it (and it would have been just one child) she was daunted too!
ReplyDeletethank you, I hadn't thought of that!
Deletethat lady is such a little bragger.
ReplyDeletethe first time i looked after Jimmy alone overnight, it was SUCH A BIG DEAL. i thought it would be in the papers.
ReplyDeleteOh good, that's pretty much how I felt too!
DeleteI'm nervous every time my husband goes away overnight (not that often) and I have a singleton (2 yrs old). You have twins!! Kat is right. No need to justify!
ReplyDelete-Bridget
9 weeks?! Is he coming back?
ReplyDeleteI think he's back now. But I was starting to wonder if Nye would take his chance and do a runner after two days, I'm pretty sure I'd be looking to remarry after 9 weeks.
DeleteSnort.
DeleteI hate it when people "one up" me, too. Stay proud...be proud!
ReplyDeleteI know! I am not a mom yet, but all the one-upping drives me crazy!
DeleteWell I think your hand beats hers anyway. The older two are at school/preschool and the 5 month old is asleep half the day. So there.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU.
Deletechrist on a stick. reminds me of the time i saw a woman with her seven month old granddaughter who was on the verge of walking (cheech was with me and was also seven months at the time). i commented that i had never seen such a tiny baby so close to walking, and her response was... "i know, it's amazing... she even knows her vowels!"
ReplyDeletei rolled my eyes and walked away.
There's advanced development and then there's just being a bit of a freak.
DeleteLOL. At mothers' group the other day I proudly said I could now tell the difference between my little girl's "I'm hungry" cry and her "I just want attention" cry. Another mother said, "I couldn't tell. MY baby NEVER wants for attention."
ReplyDeleteI hope your response was an eye roll and 'Oh FUCK OFF.'
DeleteOhhhh this stuff..... its constant isn't it... the comparing and thinly veiled slight competitive vibe. Even with friends. I think what's hard and daunting for you, and therefore makes you proud when you do it, is different for everyone as in every other area of life and when you do it - hurrah for you. You are FAB - you have TWINS and you do this amazing blog and all your work and as my husband is also self employed and has been around with me more than probably most dads are since our little one arrived, I feel like its quite a big deal actually when he's not around. Whereas some of my friends have already been abroad/camping/glamping/whatever several times with their babes and I have barely left a 1 mile radius of my house. ha ha. Good for them. We've got all that good stuff to come.
ReplyDeleteYes, having your partner around all the time makes it so much more daunting when they leave. I've gotten used to us being a parenting team (or tag team) every day that actually being a single-parent, however briefly, is a big deal. And whatever, babies don't need to go camping, they need food and cuddles, so I think we're doing just fine!
Deletesolo parenting, no matter how many babies and how long-a period... is fucking hard! x
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes it is. Thank you. x
DeleteEvery time Antonio gets home and I practically thrust Amelie into his arms I think how amazing single parents must be to do it alone. But then everything's relative isn't it? And it's what you're used to. Two poorly toddlers sounds damn hard though lady so you've impressed me ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks lady! The first thing I said to Nye when he came through the door was 'you came back! I love you! Take them away please.' I can imagine it would be a similar conversation at the end of each day if he was going out to work every day.
Deletewe have that conversation every day!
Deletesigh. pat yourself on the back, let her pat herself on hers. we can be our own measures of success, of achievement.
ReplyDeletehttp://dallianceswithsuitsandskirts.blogspot.com/
Palming off the 8 month old twins on Dan when he walked through the door this evening were "I'm done. I can't take it anymore. I need to shut myself in the bedroom. Hello." I absolutely HATE it when he goes away for a night or two, it's like an endurance test. So very well done, I feel your pain...and relief!
ReplyDeleteI fucking hate conversations about babies at those groups. I always try and talk about things other than the babies. (which doesn't always go down well).
ReplyDeleteAny kind of solo parenting is an achievement. Hell, when M comes home every evening if I'm not lying on the floor I feel it's been a good day!
It is a real privilege to have two parents in the house, for which I count myself lucky every day my husband's here, working from home. He's away travelling the other half of every week so I have learned just how much easier it makes things to merely know another body is nearby. My friend - with 4 kids under age 7, whose husband regularly spends weeks in lovely safe places like Afghanistan and Somalia -makes me feel lucky. She doesn't really complain. I don't know how single parents do it. I would go batshit crazy.
ReplyDelete